What just happened?!?!

I can barely function at work today, because I'm so upset about this fine nation's election of  President Whacka Doodle.  The only people in the whole world that are happy for us are the Russians.  It's as if someone in the family had done something so disgraceful, that we all have to change our names now.  What part of "he's not presidential material" did y'all not understand?  Now we have a bigoted, misogynous, 5th grade bully with delusions of entitlement about to sit down with his finger on The Button -- you know which one!  (Button, not finger; but it works either way...)  I understand the Canadian Immigration website crashed last night.  I'll wait a week to apply.